It wasn’t very difficult to just fall into,
And seemed much simpler to fall out too,
The path seemed clear as daylight ahead,
But the lingering darkness, knew not, where to head.
When I finally decided to fully surrender,
It didn’t pain or cause me to really wonder,
That giving up pride was really worth bearing,
Or surrendering to a feeling was worth caring.
I felt fairly recompensed at that moment,
Not sure which way the winding path went,
Bothered not with how my endurance bent,
It was all fine, as long as a smile you lent.
The day seemed bright, right unto the night,
For all the day, God kept you in my sight,
And when night dawned, sent you as the moon,
So that I wouldn’t, out of longingness swoon.
I didn’t care when you slowly started to wane,
Knowing fully, it was only to become whole again,
Like the sadness that wouldn’t dare your face stain,
For, through your eyes, your smile was beyond restrain.
Days flew swiftly, held aloft on ceaseless wings,
Unaware of how subtly the passage of time stings,
Yet to descend down them, memories they bring,
Of opening my mouth, almost beginning to sing.
Yet always almost stopping at the lip’s edge,
Where my mind drove in an unsurpassable wedge,
Stopping my restless thoughts reaching your ears,
Maybe even stopping my heart from shedding tears.
Although I believed your heart to be always open,
I limited myself to the tribulations of the pen,
Within me, I feel the shaky fault lines deepen.
Distancing my mind from memories of now and then.
But my heart refuses to stop a journey just begun,
And devoid of support to revel in mirth and fun,
It trudged along the fringes of a beaten track,
With the passersby constantly urging it to turn back.
Every frustrated time that I decided to quit,
Your redeeming smile deemed my purpose fit,
To keep you smiling, just when you begin to frown apart,
For, with you, every ending shows a new way to start.
Just when it seemed this was an endless game,
I had to suddenly limit my time with your physical frame,
And let go, of my desire to keep chanting your name,
Being content, that into my life you atleast came.
All through the day you never said a word,
And revealing my heart, I never could afford,
Feelings for you, I tried by the bundles, to hoard,
Until it dawned, on a sinking journey, they weren’t onboard.
Destined to fly the night, far apart and away,
To follow you, I know not the conscious way,
All I could do, was look within and silently pray,
That you would decide to return and forever stay.
For, what couldn’t endure separation for a day,
Would surely not stay till morning’s first ray,
Stumbling along and trying not to go astray,
To meet morning before it came across my way.
The air seems suffused, with a fragrance never used,
Making me pardon, if you really would have refused,
To save you the embarrassment and the disgrace,
I decided to never let you see, the love behind my face.
Although you’ll never be able to see my pain,
I’m glad that I’ve been able to see you gain,
Although destiny ordained us to forever part,
I never knew how badly it would pull at my heart.
I tried to forget it and water down the embers,
But what the mind forgets, the heart long remembers,
Till the inhibitions crumble and the mind’s will, dissolve,
There is no stopping the onslaught of a broken heart’s resolve.
The receding sun never sets on the heart’s desire,
And yet the staring eyes never seem to tire,
From the constant adulation of you they inspire,
Saving your memories from failure’s blazing pyre.
Sadly, my mind was adamant to really agree,
That happiness could come from being free,
For, its words always seem weak and hollow,
When it tries, the distant mirages to follow.
I cannot control or put out this mental fire,
As I sink deeper into its enchanting mire,
Speak no more, for I seem to deserve no pity,
Only your return can resurrect this hopeless entity.
Wherever you stay, you’re never too far away,
To your heart, I’ll always know the way,
But life seems very empty, down-and-out,
When you are no longer there to care about.
Deep within, I know that it is just not fair,
To want you, when about me you don’t even care,
But the realization is too difficult to bear,
Such is the nature, of this bond that we share.
Nothing between us can keep us from liberation,
Because we share the unique bond of separation,
Just as destined, we were simply torn apart,
From the dream, that was doomed, never to start.
Looking into my eyes, you will never be able to find,
The feeling that for long has been soaking my mind,
I am reluctant to move on, leaving all this behind,
But destiny and my decisions haven’t been particularly kind.
The tree though wanting, has to let go of ripe fruits,
Or stand to risk losing the source of its future roots,
I have realized the pervading agony of growing too fond,
Ironically paired with the burden of breaking the bond.